Chapter 21: Action, Reaction, Motivation, Emotion

Cassandra sat still on the couch, desperately trying to make sense of everything she just heard.  Not the second fiance, the forth; not the second wife, the third.  There had been nine other women.  Cassandra wasn't a prude but nine seemed a bit excessive.  They sat in silence when all of the anger and confusion flooded her senses, pulled back, and hit her like a tidal wave.

Cassandra flew off of the couch.  Her voice raised , teeming with mistrust and contempt, "Are you serious Don?  You just want this to be out there now and for us to go on like nothing has happened?  I'm not going to be okay with this.  I can't."

"I think you are over-reacting about this," he responded calmly, standing to face her.  "Stop raising your voice, you are going to scare Betsy."

"Do not bring her into this.  She can hear me yell.  It will be good for her to see her mother not be a doormat."

"I'm not treating you like a doormat."

"No!  I could handle being the second wife, especially since you are a widower, but the third?  Are you kidding me?"

"I'm not like that anymore Cassandra.  I was young and didn't know what I wanted.  I had to figure it out and people got hurt in the process.  I'm sorry about that."

"It doesn't hold for me Don.  I'm young and you don't see me jumping into bed with 50 billion people to figure myself out."

"Cassandra you are walking a fine line here.  May I remind you that the precious little girl sitting on the floor over there is a result of just 'jumping into bed' with someone."

"It is not the same thing!" Cassandra  shrieked.  "How dare you..."

"You're not an innocent victim here, " Don interrupted.

Don picked up Betsy who was starting to fuss at all the yelling.
"Where are you taking her?" Cassandra asked in a sudden panic.
Don glared at Cassandra with disgust, "I'm taking her upstairs.  What did you think?  You need to calm down because this is ridiculous.  Betsy doesn't need to be scared while we finish this."
"No, you know what.  I'm finished right now.  I'm not talking about this anymore.  You should have been up front with me about everything and then this wouldn't have happened!  Now give me Betsy."

Don was not a man who resorted to begging or pleading for anything.  It had only happened once before and that was as Connie was being rushed to the hospital.  As Cassandra was walking out of their home he couldn't stop himself from rushing after her and pleading for them to work it out.  This wasn't just another failed relationship.  This time there was more on the line.

Cassandra had never seen Don react this way.  During high stress business meeting he was like steel.  Even if the company needed something during negotiations he would be willing to walk away if they weren't getting their way... and the other side would always cave in first.  Cassandra was expecting the same cool treatment from Don.

It caught her off guard when he followed her out of the house, and though she hesitated for a moment Cassandra made the decision to get in the cab.  She did not allow the tears to fall until they rounded the corner and the house was out of sight.  Don would not see her cry.  She thought of telling the cab driver to turn around.  Looking at the town as it sped past, Cassandra wondered if she was throwing away the one good thing she had.  When the cab crested the hill and the manor came into view Cassandra was reminded of the strength she carried from being a Goth.  She was going home.

Everyone was surprised when Cassandra came walking through the door announcing that she was moving home.  Everyone had wondered what had happened but it was something she refused to talk about.  She was hurt and heartbroken; then the anger started taking over.  Cassandra was angry with Don the most, he deserved her anger, but when her father smiled warmly and welcomed her home Cassandra stared at him with an anger that she held just for him.  Without a word she walked right past her father and headed upstairs to settle Betsy in their room.

~~~~~~~~~~

Life in the Goth home was changed after Cassandra moved the rest of her stuff home.  The teens felt like a dark cloud was looming over head.  Jada and Alexander were getting ready to graduate but everyone was too upset to plan any real celebrations.  They all wish Cassandra would snap out of her anger, especially because it seemed to be worse on the days she went to work; most likely because Don was at the office and Cassandra was not good at separating her personal life and her professional life.  Every morning Cassandra all but stormed out of the house.  Jada, Alexander, Floramaria, and Damen were all relieved to get on the bus and escape to school for part of the day.

Eventually, Bella had a word with Cassandra about finding an outlet for her feelings without taking it out on the rest of the family.  Cassandra took up painting again.  She would sit Betsy on the floor with a favorite toys and then lose herself in the world of watercolor. At first the painting were dark and monotone.  Then she began to branch out into more vibrant colors.  Cassandra family began to notice her getting back to her normal self.  Cassandra still had her bad days.  There were times when being at the office was unbearable as Don tried to woo her back with flowers and small gifts.  At the end of the day she would find her way back to the easel to paint her frustration.

Cassandra had lost her focus on what was right in front of her for awhile but she soon started to feel like life was getting back to normal.  Betsy was starting to say a few words.  It was like Cassandra was listening to angels speaking as Betsy babbled on.  Cassandra didn't think she could have loved Betsy any more than she already did but every time her sweet daughter learned a new work Cassandra's heart would swell with pride and love and glee.  There were times when she longed for Betsy to be her sweet, snuggling baby.  Most of the time Cassandra was grateful to mother such an amazing child.  Then it seemed that the only thing missing from her life was Sheldon.

Despite Mortimer's and Cassandra's unresolved issues, Bella was thrilled to have her daughter and grand-daughter back in the manor.  All of her children were almost grown.  Bella didn't realized how much she would miss the thumping and stomping of little feet.

Jada and Alexander had moved out right after graduation.  Bella was not thrilled that Cyrique was also moving into the new house with them but the three of them had been through it all in high school so it wasn't that much of a surprise.  Bella did hope for Jada's sake that the new responsibilities of adulthood wouldn't drive a wedge between Jada and Cyrique.

Mortimer couldn't understand why Cassandra wasn't coming around to the reason he dug up Don's life in Riverview.  The least he could do was try to show he really had their best interest at heart by helping out with Betsy when he could.  Mortimer enjoyed teaching Betsy to walk.  When he had first learned of Cassandra's pregnancy he was livid, but now he could look into grand-daughter's eyes and see the future of his family; so much potential and hope held inside a little girl who could barely walk and said nothing be than a few syllables of nonsense.

~~~~~~~~~~

Cassandra woke up in a strange bed without her clothes.  There was a dull, throbbing ache in her head, her eyes felt like she could rub sand out of them, and her mouth felt full of cotton; Cassandra had a hangover.  She quickly pulled her pants back on and threw her shirt over her head.  Cassandra went in search for some food and mulled over the events of the previous night.  She clearly remembers dropping of Betsy and Darryl and Zephyr's house and she clearly remembers arriving at the club.  After that it all became a blur.  The house was familiar, it wasn't so strange, and while she ate the memories of the previous night came creeping back.  Cassandra became still as she realized exactly where she was, who she was with, and what she had done.

It was a hot night at the club and Cassandra completely let go of herself for once.  What started as a couple of drinks turned into a shuffleboard drinking game against a couple of people from Bridgeport.  That is when she noticed Monte Alto was also in the club and she roped him into the game.  When the bar closed they were three sheets to the wind and Monte offered to take Cassandra home.  As the limo pulled drove into Sunset Valley Cassandra had told Monte that she wasn't ready to go home and they decided to continue the night as a private party at his pool side bar.

Recalling the night, Cassandra realized that it wasn't the next morning but it was two mornings later.  It was in the early hours of the morning when they had gotten back to the Alto mansion.  Monte served up another round of drinks and Cassandra remembered sitting at the bar and watching the sun rise over the ocean in the distance.  Without needing to be anywhere Cassandra just kept drinking and dancing and flirting and not caring about anything else in the world.  She sent a quick text off to her mom so she wouldn't worry and then shut her phone off.

Cassandra didn't know how it happened or why, but when her lips met Monte's it was as if her body went into a free fall and he was the only thing keeping her from hitting the ground.  Kissing him was nice and beyond nice and definitely not right, yet she could not pull away.
Slowly Cassandra wrapped her arms around Monte and sank into his body.  His kisses were making her dizzy, or maybe it was the alcohol, either way she didn't care.  She went to pull away but Monte's hand ran up her back to her neck and he held her in, kissing her deeply before letting her go.

Monte held Cassandra's face in his hands.  Her face was soft and her lips a cherry red and plump from their kiss moments ago.  He wanted to kiss her again.  Monte leaned in and placed a small kiss on her mouth before he broken the silence that was engulfing them, "I'm giving you one out Cass.  Walk away now and this will never had happened.  I'll call my driver and he can take you home."  Monte paused for a moment, fighting the urge to forget what he said and kiss her again.  "I'm not an honorable man and what ever you decide does not guarantee anything.  You can go or you can stay. If you stay, I'm taking you upstairs."

Cassandra's thought were racing a mile a minute.  Through all of their childhood and through all of high school she had never had even an inkling of interest in Monte, yet her she was on the ledge, willing to jump, and Monte was willing to catch her.  Asking him to call the driver was on the tip of her tongue but that was quelled by her lust, anger, and pain.  Cassandra pulled Monte close and answered his offer with a passionate kiss of her own.  How she got up to his room, which was more like a suite, was a mystery.  She definitely didn't remember her way there.  She was pretty sure she was still fully clothed when they shut the door but had most it stripped off before they fell on to his bed.

Cassandra hesitated for a moment.  There was a gorgeous man lying almost naked right in front of her and she couldn't get her internal dialogue to shut up.  Out of all of the times she didn't want to think and just feel, this was when her mind was playing devil's advocate.  Cassandra caught the glimmer of her diamond ring out of the corner of her eye and felt a flash of regret before she reminded herself of his lies.  She slipped the ring from her finger and leaned over Monte to put it out of sight in his bedside table.  He reached up and pulled her down to him.

Cassandra was the most experienced lover but she knew what she wanted out of the night.  Monte went to maneuver himself in a position of control.  Cassandra pushed him back onto the mattress and straddled his firm body.  Monte easily could have flipped her underneath but he was intrigued by the passion and tenacity in her endeavor for dominance.  If her fervor in bed was anything like her obstinacy in the boardroom, then Monte was in for a night to remember.  The idea alone increased increased his urge to have her.  Monte conceded to Cassandra's control and rode her waves of ecstasy.

~~~~~~~~~~

Cassandra's new sense of normal was thrown for a loop when Don showed up to the manor in the middle of the night.  She had only just started speaking to him at the office and now he was in front of her pleading to work through their problem instead of just throwing it all away.  Cassandra was conflicted.  She wanted to walk away with a clean break.  Take a chance at finding happiness elsewhere.  The problem was she still loved Don, and even worse walking away completely would mean walking away from Sheldon , which would be like walking away from her own child.  It would be anything but a clean break.

Cassandra invited Don into the house with the stipulation that there would be no yelling and he would leave if she asked.
"Cassandra, look I'm sorry for what this has done to us," Don started.  "I have realized over these weeks that I should have talked to you about everything.  Nothing will be left unsaid between us from now on."  Don noticed that Cassandra wasn't wearing her ring.
"Is is too late for us?" he asked.
"I just don't know Don," Cassandra responded.  "Why?  Do I have to know right now?"
"You aren't wearing your ring..."
"I put it away for safe keeping," she lied.  Her mind was racing.  Cassandra did not want to bring this up now but she knew if she was going to ask Don to not leave anything out in the future then she would have to come clean.
"Don, you have no idea how tempting it is for me just to say yes and have everything be right again.  There is just so much, you don't even know.  I need you to come back tomorrow.  Please."

The next morning, as soon as it was humanly reasonable to place a call, she excused herself to the balcony.  She needed to get her ring back and as a courtesy let Monte know she was going to come clean about their one night stand.

"Monte, listen to me.  I left my ring in your nightstand and I need you to bring it in to the office so I can have back.

"Yes, I'm going to marry Don and I can only do that if I tell him .

"Don't do this Monte.  You said it yourself, 'no guarantees'.  I will not deny that it was be a night I will remember for the rest of my life, but it was once and it is not enough for me to stop loving him.

"You can be pissed, but I want my ring back." and Cassandra hung up the phone.  It was back to business as usual.

Don came back the next day just as she asked.  Before he arrived Cassandra made sure to clear the house.  Floramaria and Damen were sent off to their friends houses and Cassandra asked her mom and dad to take Betsy out for the evening.  As they left Cassandra told her father that it was her intention to reconcile with Don and that if he would have her back both he and Sheldon would be moving into the manor.
Cassandra was a nervous wreck.  She would much rather face the most ruthless business tycoon than admit to her night with Monte.
"Before we talk anymore about the future I need to say something and I need you to remember that you broke my heart," Cassandra began.

The words caught in her throat.  There was no way she was going to be able to do this without ruining everything.  Now that she was on the precipice of losing what she had by her own actions, did she realize how much she truly wanted Don in her life.

"Cassandra, I screwed up there is no reason for this to be so hard on you."

"Stop," she paused.  "I slept with someone while we were separated."  Cassandra blurted it out just to get it out of her head.  The room became so silent she could have heard a pin drop.

"I'm sorry...excuse me...what did you just..." Don stammered.

Cassandra jumped in before Don could go completely off the wall, "Look I know you are pissed and you have every right to be.  I have no way to even explain this.  All I can say is that I am ashamed and so sorry." She had meant it with the whole of her heart; Cassandra was ashamed that she had cheated, she was even more ashamed that she had enjoyed it so much though that thought would never be shared.
"Shit, Cassandra.  I don't know how you lay this out there and expect us to fix us in one night.  You walked out on me and I gave you space because I thought that is what you wanted and needed.  It was hypocritical move.  Should I just turn around and walk out now?"

"No!" Cassandra exclaimed.  "I'm laying it out there so we can start with us knowing everything.  Nothing is hidden."

"Who was it?" Don wanted to know.

"Does it matter?  Please don't do this."

"Cassandra if you want to get past this then I need to know who."

"I'm begging you to not do this.  We don't even need to get married and just start fresh from a new place."

"Who?  It's the last time I'm asking before I walk out the door.  You want a fresh start and I want to know who.  We start there."

Cassandra sighed, "It was Monte."

"For fuck sake, him?  Out of all the guys in this neighborhood why him?"

"Because I was drunk and he was there."

They both said nothing; neither one of them willing to cut into the tension, neither one knowing what step to take next.